So Marcus is leaving on Saturday morning. He has moved the day up a couple times and now that seems to be the final decision. I am, to say the least, very sad. It’s been a really up and down week as far as my emotions. I am finding myself really struggling with things left over from Joel, actually. Meeting Marcus has helped me get over so much of my hurt from that whole situation but I notice that I am having a hard time trusting that Marcus isn’t going to move away and move on. I don’t trust that he won’t break my heart. And I hate that!! He has done nothing but been sweet and reassuring that this is what he wants, to work hard to keep me around, but that little thought that maybe he’ll meet someone else or something won’t let me rest easy. I don’t really know what to do about it besides try to not let it bother me and understand that Marcus is not Joel. Because Marcus is not Joel. This situation is not like that one was. He and I are already doing a thousand times better as far as communication and actually talking about a desire for commitment and there’s no way this could end the way that did. It won’t happen.
Marcus and I may be taking a road trip to Minnesota at the end of next month. I really want to be there for Pascha (Orthodox Easter) and see my beloved friends in my beloved city and traveling with Marcus sounds like a lot of fun. We’ll see if it works out and I’ll definitely let all of you there know. I’m super excited at the prospect.