.most of what i say is about the same thing.

I journal a lot as a way to help me sort through all the things that I think about and over analyze and I’ve realized a couple things in the last few days. I was thinking about the nature of missing someone, how it is feeling the absence of a person, and I think that I may miss Marcus more than I’ve ever missed anyone. Now maybe that’s a bold statement, but I have nothing to occupy myself with now that he’s left, no one to go hang out with. It’s not even the distance that makes being far from him so difficult, it’s adjusting to the loneliness again, as I mentioned before. The other thing I realized is that he probably misses me as much as I miss him. Maybe not in the same way exactly, but I think I assume that since he is back in his beloved Roanoke with all of his friends, he is having fun all the time and always busy and not thinking about me nearly as much as I sit around and think about him. But if our places were switched, if, let’s say, I moved back to Minneapolis for a little while, even though I would be surrounded by people I love and stuff to do, I would still miss him tons. I would do fun things and wish that he was doing them with me. Or I’d hang out with people and wish that he knew them and was friends with them too. Understanding those two things has made everything a lot easier, actually. He may not tell me every time he thinks of me or misses me but I know that he does. I cannot wait to see him this weekend. I’m practically counting down the hours because I’m just that hopelessly “in like.”

I sort of feel like I should apologize for writing of almost nothing but Marcus. I imagine that it could get kind of boring after awhile for those of you that don’t know him. Which is all of you. There are other things going on in my life! I swear! It’s just not that much. And not that exciting. And I don’t think about them as much. But I’ll try to have my blog be more multi-faceted than it is now.

Like… Joseph and I made a bat trap yesterday! Kelly was at a birth so I picked him up from school (Michael was home sick) and when he got in the car he told me that he wanted to get himself a pet bird. We thought that catching a bird in the daytime would be hard though, so he decided to make a trap for bats and hang it in a tree in the backyard with fruit in it to attract them. We spent almost 4 hours working on it and it’s always nice when he is occupied because he’s a chronic complainer of being bored and hungry. The trap didn’t end up working but that’s beside the point. Joseph is such a creative and determined mind. It was frustrating at times, I’ll admit, but it was fun too.

I got an A minus on my Leibniz philosophy test like I had on my Descartes test. It was another pleasant surprise. Now we are studying Aristotle, Kant, Sartre, and possibly some Nietzsche. I think I am better at school than I thought I would be. Definitely better than I was last time I tried it. I’m looking forward to continuing and for my classes this summer and whatever I will take in the fall. School isn’t THAT bad I guess. I wish I had study buddies. That would be fun. I wish I had taken some classes in Minneapolis because I would have had plenty of other friends to study with and bike to school with and SpyHouse to sit at and work. But whatever, it didn’t happen that way. Maybe/Hopefully/Undoubtedly things will be different this fall.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *